Lifting power

These days I am worried about what I eat. A few days ago I ate a kebab that made me wonder about the limits of the universe, and my intestines. This Kebab transformed my perception of competitive sports proving myself that you are only one Kebab away from breaking the hundred-yard dash record. Would that count as doping?
Anyways, in so many hours of sitting down, it came to mind that I should watch my diet a little more. I remember when I was a teenager and ate nothing but garbage and felt and looked fantastically fine. Today I get fatter by mere looking at food commercials. My body figure is looking more and more like a pear than a T. Most importantly I am starting to feel that my body needs somewhat better and healthier nourishment.
But it is not easy to do this. Today we are told that the ideal intake consists of 5 pieces of fruit and vegetables and 8 glasses of water a day. Danone reassures me that I should take its wheat yogurt to defecate better. I say if you want to defecate better have a Kebab and you will be defecating your mothers´ milk. But anyway, it is not easy to know what you should eat when all the advices are somehow linked to big corporations. Nestle makes a fruit juice that promises the equivalent of all the needed daily fruit and vegetable. Perrier offers a long life if you drink only its´ bottled water. Kraft makes a cheese with Caseis Inmunita that will make your intestines work better, McDonalds promises that their beef is 100 percent beef. Which of course it is all bullshit, especially McDonalds Burgers. Literally.
Then you ask yourself if this Olympic style diarrhea you are suffering may only be a natural way of your body to get rid of all the garbage you feed it. Or it is really a symptom of something wrong? Could it be that humans are not so different than common non-rational animals and posses a digestive system smart enough to filter what we need and discard what we don’t? Are we to fall into the sensory overload big corporations bombard us with and follow their advice, while in turn making them richer? Am I to deprive my body of the sufficient Humph to help him release the toxins? I know one thing for sure, I am getting rid of a lifetime to toxins and got sufficient humph to stop a horse. Now if you excuse me I have to go sit down for while.